Connecting to Your Inner Worth

The foundation of a strong sense of self-worth influences every aspect of life, guiding individuals towards better health, more fulfilment, improved relationships with themselves and others, greater confidence and success and more. Let's explore the intricacies of self-worth and glean insights from the art of building and nurturing it.

Understanding Self-Worth:

Defining Self-Worth:

Self-worth is a multifaceted concept encompassing various factors that shape an individual's comfort within themselves and their confidence as they navigate the world. It is a reflection of one's emotional stability, career success, relationship goals, and self-confidence. No matter the unique dimensions of your self-worth, the essence lies in unlocking the ability to genuinely love yourself, fostering overall well-being, and enhancing interpersonal relationships.

Low self-worth can affect everyone. In fact, highly successful people might be the last individuals you would expect to suffer from low self-esteem, but many celebrities, CEOs, famous athletes, and politicians suffer from low self-worth or did at one point in their lives. So if you struggle with low self-worth, know that you’re in good company and rest assured there’s so much you can do to develop an unshakeable sense of self-worth.

Distinguishing Self-Worth from Self-Esteem:

While self-worth and self-esteem both lean on self-confidence, they operate on different scales. Self-worth encapsulates the entirety of a person, incorporating self-esteem, self-compassion, self-love, self-respect, and self-acceptance. The latter, self-esteem, is more specific to confidence. Those grappling with low self-esteem often find themselves entangled in unhappy feelings about their self-worth.

The Significance of Self-Worth:

Individuals who hold a strong sense of self-worth have the resilience to cope with negative thoughts and self-doubt. This healthy self-esteem empowers individuals to understand themselves in relation to others without succumbing to comparison or jealousy. It means they’ll be less likely to settle for unhealthy relationships, more likely to advocate for their needs, champion themselves and their goals, forgive themselves for perceived mistakes and the list goes on. Moreover, self-worth enables the honouring of one's selfhood in its entirety, embracing both our strengths and weaknesses as well as our shadow side.

Traumas, the media, childhood experiences and other external factors can diminish self-worth. If you feel you are broken, unfixable, unloveable or that your past is indicative of your future, know that those are all lies. You are absolutely worthy and able to change those unhelpful beliefs and your past does not have to be indicative of your future. Over time when you commit to yourself, you can build self-worth by practicing self-care, self-acceptance, self-belief and self-love and celebrating your achievements, no matter how small. Similarly, you should celebrate others’ self-worth to improve your own and others’ self-esteem and mental health.

Influencing Factors of Self-Worth:

1. Self-Assurance & Self-Acceptance:

Self-assurance, born from self-knowledge and confident decision-making, forms a cornerstone of self-worth. As does self-acceptance. When we accept ourselves for who we are and stop trying to perform or hide certain parts of ourselves, we become more whole and complete. And it will allow you to embrace your unique path and stay true to yourself which counteracts the pitfalls of mimicking others.

2. Career Success:

Set meaningful goals and work towards them while letting go of the outcome. Commit to excellence but recognise that the journey matters far more than the actual outcome as a good life is made up of small moments. While professional accomplishments contribute to self-worth, it's crucial not to hinge self-esteem solely on career success.

3. Defined Interests:

Cultivating hobbies aligned with personal interests fosters a robust sense of selfhood, enhancing overall self-worth.

4. Emotional Stability:

Prioritising self-care and learning to boost self-esteem during challenging times form the bedrock of emotional stability, a pivotal factor in self-worth. We can do this through getting enough sleep, exercise, eating whole healthy foods and cutting out or reducing sugar, processed foods and alcohol.

5. Relationship Fulfilment:

Whether seeking romantic partnerships, parenthood, or a strong relationship with oneself, acknowledging one's worthiness of love contributes to a healthy sense of self-worth. Take the time to be grateful for the meaningful relationships in your life and show the people that you care about that they matter.

Building Your Self-Worth:

1. Recognise that You Don’t have to Earn it:

You don’t have to earn or prove your worthiness. It’s a myth that you have to earn your worthiness. The truth is that you were born worthy. You are enough just as you are, right now. You just have to accept it and stop playing a victim. Anything bad that happened to you wasn’t fair and you didn’t deserve it, but when you stop playing the victim, you open up space to heal and take ownership of who you’re meant to be. Healthy love, success at work, building fulfilling relationships, feeling healthy and good, getting support, you are worthy of it all when you accept it.

2. Prioritse Your Needs and Set Boundaries:

If you struggle with worthiness you probably hold a belief along the lines of your needs don’t matter, you are broken you aren’t good enough or you aren’t valuable or important. This most likely stems from something in childhood. It’s important to recognise that those aren’t true and you can start to flip that narrative by prioritising your needs, choosing yourself and reminding yourself of your inherent value. To start, get in the habit of regularly checking in with yourself and asking what you need and then give that to yourself. And also set boundaries that honour your value and worth. For instance, this might look like saying no to an event that you don’t want to go to because you are tired and you’ll be better served by having a night in, not answering the phone for a draining friend when you don’t have the capacity for it or not oversharing the details of your life with family members or “friends” who don’t seem to have your best interest at heart.

3. Seek Support:

Build a network of supportive family and friends who uplift you during challenging times. Asking for support is a strength, not a vulnerability. Be mindful of relationships that feel draining, don’t bring out the best in you or don’t support you and lovingly be ok with either letting go or limiting time spent with these people. When you let go of relationships that no longer feel aligned, you make space for ones that do. Developing a sense of self-worth is knowing that you are worthy of having relationships that are mutually beneficial and show up for you too. When you’re struggling, seeking professional help can also be hugely beneficial.

4. Avoid Comparison:

Easier said than done, but let go of societal perceptions of where you "should" be in life. There can be so much pressure to hit certain milestones by particular ages and to tie our worthiness up in that. But recognize that everyone has their unique journey, and distancing yourself from unhealthy comparisons is paramount for self-worth. Not everyone who hits those milestones are happy or fulfilled. Trust your inner guidance and timing and if it helps, look to other people who’ve stood out from the norm to see that you are far from alone in carving a unique path. Most people who’ve achieved any big amount of success went through challenges to get there. Finally, when you compare yourself to what you see on social media you are not seeing the full picture.

5. Practice Self-Kindness and Repeat Positive Affirmations:

While constructive criticism can be valuable, cultivating self-kindness is equally crucial. Acknowledge your strengths, leveraging them for your own and others' benefit. And make an effort to speak kindly to yourself always. Whenever you notice you’re being self-critical, change your tone to a kind loving parent, acknowledge what you’re feeling and give it love. For instance, you might say something like: “Hi fear, I see you, I am so grateful that you’re trying to protect me, but please know that I’m safe and we’ll get through this. I am no longer a child, I’ve come a long way and it’s safe to step outside of my comfort zone.” Choose a positive affirmation that resonates and can help you realign with your sense of self-worth, put your hand on your heart, look in the mirror and confidently recite it. Even if it doesn’t resonate at first, if you stick with it, eventually it will start to feel normal. Here are couple to choose from:

• I am good enough, my work is enough and I’m doing enough

• I am worthy and deserving of the best life has to offer

• I love, honour, value and respect myself

6. Reflect on Your Impact:

Consider the positive role you play in the lives of those around you, be it partners, children, friends, or colleagues. Recognizing your significance fosters a healthy sense of self-worth.

7. Engage in Regular Exercise:

Physical activity not only benefits your health but also clears your mind, improves mental well-being, and releases endorphins, contributing to an enhanced sense of self-worth.

8. Draw Inspiration:

Listen to podcasts and read books that uplift you. Emulate those you respect and admire. Reach out to individuals you look up to, learn from their experiences, and weave their wisdom into your own journey. Surround yourself by people you want to grow and learn from. If you don’t have access to some of these people that you admire, start by listening to podcasts and reading blogs of people that inspire you.

9. Embrace Challenges and Reframe Failure:

Stepping outside your comfort zone and taking on challenges can propel you forward, unveiling new insights. Celebrate your efforts, regardless of the outcome. And reframe failure as a stepping stone to success and rejection as redirection. Anything meaningful in your life, will likely come with a lot of fear and self-doubt to get to as well as obstacles and challenges. If the path feels right for you, rather than seeing those as a sign to turn back, simply recognise them as opportunities to expand yourself. When you continue to move forward and face your fear, you will expand into the highest version of yourself.

10. Keep a Journal:

Document positive aspects about yourself and “look for the good” in a journal. Looking at our wins can become a powerful resource during moments of self-doubt, offering a reminder of your strengths and accomplishments. Listing out all the good can also be incredibly empowering. Whenever something may seem overwhelming or like an insurmountable challenge, take out your journal and list out all the things going well in your life. The more you do it, the easier it will be to recognise the good and to connect with your sense of self-worth.

11. Make Choices that will make Yourself Proud:

When making decisions or choices, consider the one that you’d be most proud of yourself for. This is a great way to move towards the highest version of yourself and boost your mental health.

12. Recognise that Self-Worth is a Journey:

Everyone you admire had to grapple with their own sense of worthiness. It is part of the human condition to question our worth. For instance, here’s what Natalie Portman shared at a Harvard Commencement speech, “So I have to admit that today even 12 years after graduation, I’m still insecure about my own worthiness. I have to remind myself today you’re here for a reason. Today I feel much like I did when I came to Harvard Yard as a freshman in 1999 when you guys were, to my continued shock and horror, still in kindergarten. I felt like there had been some mistake that I wasn’t smart enough to be in this company, and that every time I opened my mouth, I would have to prove I wasn’t just a dumb actress.” So if you struggle with worthiness, there’s nothing wrong with you. It’s perfectly human to question it and often the extent to which we struggle is most likely indicative of a challenge that we went through in childhood more than the fact that we are broken or anything else. However, no matter where we sit on the spectrum of appreciating our worthiness, we can work to accept our innate worthiness and continuously cultivate it.

“Part of me suspects that I’m a loser, and the other part of me thinks I’m God Almighty.” – John Lennon

When it comes to living a healthy, successful and fulfilling life, building self-worth couldn’t be more important. And there is no final destination. Instead, it is an ongoing process—a journey of self-discovery and inner nourishment. As you embark on this path of cultivating and strengthening your worthiness, remember that your worth is inherent, unique, and deserving of celebration. Take the time to cultivate a profound sense of self-worth, for within it lies the foundation of a fulfilling, magical and harmonious life.

“Convince yourself everyday that you are worthy of a good life. Let go of stress, breathe. Stay positive, all is well.” – Germany Kent

If you’re looking for ways to boost your employees mental fitness, performance, health and well-being, we’d love to hear from you. Wondersource has various online programs that support employees to not only live healthy and more confidently, but also perform way better. Book in some time by clicking the “book a call” button in the top right corner of the page.

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