Embracing Imperfection
Perfectionism and the desire to be perfect is something most of us can identify with. Unfortunately, there are many negative side effects to it keeping us trapped in a cycle of unattainable standards and self-doubt. It's time to break free from the chains of perfectionism and learn to accept ourselves and embrace imperfection.
The Paradox of Perfectionism
Perfectionism is a double-edged sword. On one side, it can drive individuals to excel, set high standards, and achieve outstanding results. However, this is never sustainable in the long-run and the flip side reveals a destructive force that leads to chronic stress, anxiety, burnout and a profound fear of failure.
The Damaging Impact of Perfectionism
Mental Health Toll: Perfectionists often struggle with anxiety, depression, and stress. The constant pressure to be flawless takes a toll on mental wellbeing.
Low Self-Worth: Perfectionists often tie their self-worth to their accomplishments. When they don't meet their impossibly high standards, their self-esteem takes a hit.
Stifled Creativity: The fear of making mistakes or not being perfect can stifle creativity and innovation. It leads to a reluctance to take risks.
Strategies to Overcome Perfectionism
Acknowledge Perfectionism: The first step is recognising that you're a perfectionist. Awareness is the key to change.
Open your Mind: When we struggle with perfectionism, it comes from some unhelpful programming or trauma that we received earlier in life. To overcome it, you will have to accept that you are truly worthy even though you won’t feel it yet and accept that there’s so much better for you that you can’t even comprehend at this moment. You have to take a leap of faith and believe in the idea that there is so much better for you. Because there is when you decide that there is. As you show up for yourself more and more, you will start to realise how worthy you are no matter what. Even if you make a mistake, even if you don’t succeed yet, even if you aren’t kind to yourself, you are worthy no matter what.
Accept, Approve, Choose and Validate Yourself: Focus on accepting, choosing, approving and validating yourself. We have a tendency to overvalue our shortcomings and undervalue our strengths and to overvalue other people’s opinions and undervalue ours. You matter, you’re worthy, you’re important and your ideas and feelings are valid. Validate them yourself without needing anyone else to validate them. Give yourself permission and approval to do what you want to do. Too often we wait for approval to go after our dreams or to make a decision, never realising that we have to approve of ourselves and our decisions. And the same goes for acceptance. We wait for other people to accept and choose us, not realising that we can accept and choose ourselves right now exactly as we are simply by telling yourself that you do and feeling into it. You are unique and that is a wonderful thing. And you are worthy exactly as you are. Keep opening yourself up to this idea until you know it deep down in your bones.
Choose the Lighter more Joyful Path: Remind yourself again and again that there is a lighter way. Let things be more joyful and easier for you. When we are constant worriers, we’ve simply been programmed to worry by people who didn’t know better. We can train ourselves to let go of worry by being present with ourselves, recognising when worry comes up, acknowledging it, talking to it with love and kindness and allowing yourself to choose another more loving perspective. A new more empowering way of looking at the situation.
Redefine Success: Understand that perfection is unattainable. Instead, redefine success as progress and learning and strive for excellence. We can show up and decide to do and be our best every day without attaching to the exact outcome which is out of our control.
Set Goals that Excite you: Set goals that challenge you but don't set you up for failure. Understand that mistakes are part of the process. Every failure is a stepping stone to success. When something doesn’t work out, simply tell yourself that thing didn’t work and try a new way. Don’t make it mean anything about you, because it doesn’t unless you decide it does.
Practice Self-Compassion: Replace self-criticism with self-compassion. Treat yourself as you would a friend, with understanding and kindness. Talk to yourself like a child that you are responsible for loving and taking care of. You deserve that loving, gentle, encouraging voice. People are judging us when we’re judging us, people aren’t judging us when we’re accepting and approving of ourselves. Recognise that judging yourself isn’t actually helpful and let go of it. You did your best at the time with the tools you had.
Embrace Imperfection: Understand that life is full of imperfections, and that's what makes it beautiful. Learn to appreciate the journey, not just the destination. Every successful person goes through huge challenges, obstacles, uncertainty, and failures. Don’t let anything define you. Learn from your experiences and move on with new insights and learnings to help you on your journey.
Seek Support: Don't hesitate to seek help from a therapist or counsellor if your perfectionism is severely affecting your mental health.
Conclusion
Perfectionism can be hard to deal with, but it can be overcome. By embracing imperfection and accepting yourself as you are, we not only reduce stress and anxiety but also open ourselves up to a world of creativity, innovation, and self-compassion. It's time to let go of the unattainable pursuit of perfection, strive to get a little better every day and embrace the beauty of our imperfect, wonderful selves.
Did you find this helpful? Email us at hello@wondersource.co if you’d like to share anything about your experience with perfectionism. We’re helping employees globally live mentally healthy, healed and thriving lives and we always love hearing from our audience.
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